雅思大作文批改实例
Some people think it is more important to plant more trees in open area in towns and cities than provide more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
According to the development of global economic (注意词性， economy) ，more and more buildings were appeared (这是一 一个被动语态，去掉were) intowns and cities. However, there are a large number of woods gradually disap-
peared (两个动词，所以改成disappearing). It's just because of this, the environ-ment have been suffered (注意主谓一致问题， 并且不应该用被动语态，改成has
suffered) a great quantity of pollution, and air quality is rapidly decline (两个动词，可以改成rapidly declines).
Actually, in recent years, environmental protection has been brought to the forefront as an increasing number of countries have boosted their economies
signifcantly. In my opinion, the environmental problems have to be accepted as a trade- off for economic growth.
In economically developed nations that (that放在这里比较突兀，所以去掉that,改成逗号) industrialisation Inevitably leads to extensive logging and mining, which are the main cause (前面是are, 这里就应该改成causes) of soil erosion.
Although the environmental protection is important, the consideration of the environment consequences will increase the cost of production, while the price is the only competitve (注意拼写， competitive)
advantage of these coun-tries, Therefore, it is too simplistic to think that developing countries can make every effort to protect the environment when the economic prosperity is the top priority.
When a country become (主谓- -致，becomes) a richer (直接用becomes richer就可以了) which just can support to project that aim to attain environmental object,such as reforestation (这个句子整个表达非常混乱， 除此之外没有主句。
In conclusion, environmental degradation is an jinevitable consequence for achieving their economic targets when countries are not economically devel-
oped. Once these countries have become rich, they will pay attention to envi-ronmental issues.
整个文章的点可以更好一一些，其实题目很简单就是保护环境重要还是修房子重要。虽然你的点都有提到，但是提及的方式不够好，比如说你不同意题目，那么你可以说修房子重要，因为这是带动经济发展最重要的东西，如果一个国家只有生态， 没有经济那么人们的生活会 大大的受到限制。
TR5.0 + CC6.0 + V5.0 + G5.0= 05.5
问题:字数太少了，用词不够好，好几处都会有读不通的情况，有- - -些小的语法问题
比如主谓一-致问题等
建议:多看范文，需要进一步提升语言质量。写完以后多花点时间检查一下语法问题
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